Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
