the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
