google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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