So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
