Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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