Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
