Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
