it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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