you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
