Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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