So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
