I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she smelled like a LAN party
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
