if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
