Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
