dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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