i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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