How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
