is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize