I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
