Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
