It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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