i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Everyone says I win the strip club
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
