I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
