I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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