is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
