I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
