Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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