We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
