I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Who died my cat blue again?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
