So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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