She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
