This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
