Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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