the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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