so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Randomize
