so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize