Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
