you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
