when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
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