Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it's great music for shaving your balls
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
is it fun? or sober?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
