i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
