I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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