Bisexual people are plain selfish.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
