i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
