yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
