Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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