I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
