Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
