Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
