ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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