i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
