: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
