I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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