I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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