That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
