Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
