"it" just moved
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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