This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
