So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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