I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
