how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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