You're my little dorito
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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