Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sorry about my life...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
