were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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