Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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