ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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