And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
porn star boner night. come get it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
